My dog said that, with the way Mattie is barking at the window, you'd think that she lost a leg to a cat in Nam.

a simple and complex animal.

My dog asked me if i thought that Hitler's dog was probably evil. I said "well, the apple never falls far from the tree." she then brought me an apple from the fridge; it was from japan. My dog wonders if, with advancements in technology, identities are, more and more, culturally influenced. Then she pooped on the floor.

"i moved from oregon; you can't even drink on the street there!"

My dog realizes the benefit of not opening the door of communication with men wearing all cammo outfits on airplanes. As a side note, my dog knows much more about cow farming, hunting, and the necessity of "really enjoying guns if you are going to be a weapons specialist in the military [which the cammo-clad man did enjoy!]."

the end result...

As the snow begins to retreat, my dog is seeing the consequences of a five months of accumulated dog shit in the yard.

Taste tester...

I've been feeling sick lately. My dog asked if I had ever considered the possibility that Katie "gunner" Glavin was poisoning me. I told her that that was absurd--but that hasn't stopped her from making Katie's dog test all of my food.

picking up chicks.

my dog noticed that many of isaiah's female friends had dogs. she asked him if he was using the dogpark as a means to pick up chicks but he said no. she told me she still doesn't believe him.

Logic killed Death

My dog's friend got a fortune cookie without a fortune. My dog told this to Amanda and said that the friend was going to die cause there was no fortune. Amanda said "no she won't, it's not a future telling cookie."

My dog has a hostess snack in the cupboard. It is symbolic of her will power; when the hostess snack is gone, so too will be her dignity.

Inferences...

My dog's friend said that she isn't allergic to bunnies. My dog asked how she knows and the friend said that she had a rabbit lined coat. The friend also said she isn't allergic to baby seals.

Puppy's right to choose...

The other day, my dog took her friend to Sioux City to get the morning after pill. Her friend took the pill in an Arby's drive through. It was one of the highlights of my dog's stay in the midwest.

Lhotsi's roommate...

Last night, My dog's roommate, Max, went out to the bar. He got pretty drunk and spilled a drink on a girl. He said sorry and, as the drink flowed off the table and down the girls leg, checked his text messages at the same time. It was horrifying--like watching a six year old girl appologize for killing her hamster as she played legos; oblivious to the world around her.